I guess today is really symbolic of my feelings. I had all these wonderful fantasies that this year I would have my Thumper as a Valentine. I would not be single during this holiday. I know we were only online, but I loved her so much. I still love her. She is being OK with that I guess. I made her a promise that she would always be calling the shots, so when she ending it, that was it. I still want to cry about it sometimes, like tonight. There was this crazy thought in my head. It was silly. I wanted her to be my first kiss. I had this idea that she would one day meet me and even if there was nothing there in real life, well, I hoped that I would have my first ever kiss. I know I am pathetic. In four years I am a movie title. It is sad. Sad that I will die one day never being intimate with anyone in real life.
At least I got to know what real love was before I pass away. That is something I guess. Tomorrow I will try and make some caps for some people I care about. I will probably try and watch Stargate Atlantis at some point. Others will be romantic and sexy and I will be alone once again on this day.
My Mom use to buy me something silly every Valentine's Day. Sometimes I miss her the most during this time.
Alexia
No comments:
Post a Comment