If only Insulin would magically transition me.......

I have been in a weird head-space, I know I know, when am I not?  Well, the diabetes has really been a kick in the ass.  I just have to keep increasing the doses and try and change my eating habits and find some stuff that I can eat.  It is hard.  The other thing is that I am feeling more and more a pull to my true self.

I want to cut my offending sac off many days.  I am not going to mutilate myself, but I just think about what I would be like without those offensive things hanging down.  I dream of sucking and fucking a great deal.  I am sure I can never have sex fully as the boy...I have progressed to far in accepting who I really am.  So where does that leave a Non-Op Transsexual?  The desire to be myself and the knowledge of what that means to all I have in life is ginormous.

I am at a place where I enjoy my job and feel I am doing good for many people.  That would evaporate quickly if I did come out and try to transition to something truer to me.  It is about the type of profession I am in and not legalities.  I would be no longer able to do the work I do now.  Plus, I know my Dad would never understand, he would love me, but it would confuse and probably destroy him.  That is not worth it right now.  Plus, even though I could change, at my age, I am past where the realities I would want and enjoy could really come true.

So I am resigned to seek intimacy here in cyberspace.  I do think sometime in my future I need to be in counseling or find a TG support group in a near-by, yet distant city.  It would do me well to find others like me to talk with and listen to, who knows maybe I will find something more than I realize through that process.  It is a journey and process.  I do think I understand why so many of us are submissive and desire to be pets.

I am a leader in my professional life.  I have to and am expected to make decisions and be in front of people.  I dream of not having the responsibility of leading.  I want to be the one told what to do and just go along.  I have a need to let go and release control to a loving person.  I don't want pain and torture, but I do desire the ability to serve and know I am cherished because I bring love and joy to someone.

Be well my readers.  Know I am struggling with my health.  I may be sparingly on.  I do have two captions in the November Rachel's Haven Contest, so expect them up soon.  I am toying with a story but it would be violent and must be thought about more.  The images are strong and powerful.

Love,
Your Alexia Rose

So Horny Lately

I am super horny lately.  I seem to just want to have my fingers in my hole all the time.  My freakishly large clit is so good staying inside my body as I rub over it.  I like looking at cocks alot, especially since the other day.  It is like I can't see enough of them.  I like nice big black cocks the best.  I think about how my lips would feel as I push my mouth over one.  I like the thought of running my tongue along the throbbing veins as I suck on one.

When I see a pussy being stretch out by a thick cock I get so jealous and sad.  I want to feel that in me.  I want a pretty pussy and to have those lips caressing a huge cock.  It is just all I can think about sometimes.  I wish I had a way to experience life as I desire.  I want to have my breast kissed and my pussy fucked hard.

I am such a cock slut.

Alexia

In my Head

IN MY HEAD...

I am a gorgeous redhead.

I am a kind hearted slut.

I love girls.

I love boys.

I can dance and move my hips in ways that make people hot and bothered.

I can rock a latex dress.

I have gotten rid of body hair from the neck down.

I am a stripper when i want to be.

I am not alone.

I am able to share love.

I am Alexia Rose.