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I have been running some thoughts around in my head over the last year. I am sexually active in a cyber type way. I read stories and watch porn vids as a way to stimulate my imagination. The best allow me to place myself in the story and become immersed. In real life I am a 44 year old virgin. Frustrated is beyond description.
How now can I be sexual in real life? I am in an industry that would not allow for a true romance with anyone outside of the conservative norm. So as I have realized I am really attracted to women that have a cock and pass for genetic female. In public my dream gal would be the perfect girlfriend, in private I could be her submissive girl. Where is she? Could we do it, fool the judgmental and be happy?
I know that if I were able to pass I would definitely be bisexual. I get a nice feeling radiating from deep inside outward when I think of sucking a strong and loving man. Black would be nice, but really, any sexy guy would do. Just have a nice cock. I also want to know the feeling of being spread wide by a cock as my lover thrust in and out of me.
There is a strange happening that is really nice. I have been able to push my small cock inside and masturbate as close to female as possible. Now inside of the strong push of cum, there is a slow release. It makes me feel like I am cumming like I should.
Hope this was not too graphic, but if you have read in the past I guess this is tame.
Alexia Rose
Wow, I knew I had not written in a while, but over a year. Wow. The stresses in my real life really took a toll. I pretty much am not myself online like I was. Yahoo changing software and all that stuff halted message chats with the few people I spoke with online. It also denied me of serving a wonderful Mistress who truly understood my desires of hypnosis and submission. Depression has been a battle still. I have bad and dark times but so far I guess you can say I am winning.
I did buy some bras, those comfort type. They have helped me figure where my need to exercise is at right now. I have come to realize my pantie size and that has lead to some wonderful adventures of wearing them when I need to be me out there in that genetic skin I have. I still dream of being a complete woman. I want to be penetrated, caressed, kissed, loved. All that and it hurts sometimes.
The picture of what I need in real life as a mate is clear, but pretty out of reach. She is a passable gal with a nice cock. In private I can submit as myself to her and have my desires be realized by one of the most beautiful humans ever created. We would love each other and provide the emotional support lovers need. I would be the one being penetrated. I know my small thing would never satisfy. She would love me even though I am stuck in a form I should not have.
Otherwise I read a bunch of TG Erotica and transformation stories. I will see if I can be more active. I just wanted to let anyone that once cared I was alive.
Alexia Rose
