Smooth

I

I accomplished a good hair removal today.  It really was a nice removal.  I almost could reach part of my back.  I have used a new Veet can that comes with a razorless looking razor.  It really works well.  I have used it with other removal creams.  I would suggest getting a neutralizing agent.  I found a wash at Dollar Tree of all places.  This gel-like substance froths up on contact with the residue of the removal cream.  It washes right off.  I wish I could sleep in my slip tonight.  My body really feels sexy to me.

Toodles!

Alexia

Comments on my Last Post; LOVE

W

 Wow.  That may be a record for substantial comments on one post.  I want to say that I think Toni & Venatus are both right.  How can I say that, well, they have different opinions, but each has truth contained in them.  I think that they are really close to finding common ground in their posting as well.


I want to say that I feel like such a failure sometimes Toni, hiding here and being so secret IRL.  I am at a place where I would be destroyed if people knew how I felt about myself.  Plus my profession would be over.  I have thought about the path of transitioning and see that I would be left without anything to support myself.  My Undergrad degree would hold, but my Masters would never be allowed to transfer.  I thought about it, I will not say never, but it will be far off if ever.


What I do hope is that I am brave enough if the day comes, that I can stand up for and be there for any of the TG community in my capacity as a (_______).  I would hope I could be a person to offer compassion and understand as a stealth T-Girl and enable that person to survive.  I see that as a possible reason for my being who I am.  I am in place for those that are braver than I maybe.  Still there is much I want to write so that maybe we can help each other understand why so of us are so inward and shy.


Thank you both for the passion and the love you show the community be caring enough to comment on my little Blog.  You both have deep concern and love for others through the words you spoke and the civility you spoke them.


Alexia

Love

I

I wonder sometimes about whether online connections of love can be enough?  I know as I near 40 that it is very possible that online maybe where I can find intimacy.  It is the only place so far where that has occurred.  Can I be happy like that?  I know I will never be with the woman that I fell in love with and lost.  She remains a friend, but I accept that I can never be what I wish I could be for her.  I know she did have some kind of love for me, just not sure what kind.


She would tell me to get out there and find someone, but I tried that off and on and it has never worked.  Whether my shyness IRL that cripples me or the deep down realization that I feel more like a female, I just never have relationships IRL that goes deep.  I wonder now if I could be "the guy" even if I found someone because in accepting the female part of me I long more to experience that in myself.  I know that is confusing, but inside I respond so much as who I am feeling as my real self I just wonder if I can have a relationship and still be true.


Last night, well, last night was wonderful.  The other person who can make me feel so much deep emotion let me be with him.  I asked that we just be together and set the background as a cabana on a tropical beach with a roaring fire.  He makes me experience things inside I just have really only felt with one other, the woman I mentioned.  I was so emotional when we had finished I know he had to have thought me silly.  He can never really know just how much his loving me means to me.  


It all happens over IM.  So it is in our imaginations.  I know it lacks true affection and touch, but it is all I have ever had.  I am still very much a virgin IRL.  I have never been kissed.  I have never cuddled close with someone.  But online I have.  I have felt love.  Can that be enough?  


Alexia

YES MASTER

PRETTY IN PINK

I know I have been placing many of my oldest captions on here, but it is just something I need to do right now.  I am torn between the real world and my life on-line.  So I have to devote time to what makes life happen.  I hope you enjoy this one.  It was in my "play with the tools" phase.

Alexia

HOLY CRAP

Here is another older cap that I did early on at Rachel's Haven.  I loved the expression on the model's face and the story kind of just came to me after that picture was found.

Alexia

WHISKEY

I don't think that I have ever placed this one on the Blog.  I loved the pictures I found with both genders in similar poses.  It is a bit different and I was coming off watching my second season DVD's of Secret Life of a Call Girl.

Alexia

Sorry Sweeties!

I am sorry to have taken more time than I expected before posting.  I had a good trip and have been busy since.  I am working on thoughts in my head, but have some other things cooking as well.  I will post some stuff for you that is old but unseen on here as of yet.

Kisses,
Alexia

Travelling

I will be gone for work this week on a trip.  Be back soon.  If I can get the email post to work, and some privacy I might write a bit.

Alexia