Empty

Trying to figure out the things I share with "the Boy" makes for an interesting time and a tiring time right now. Many things in the life of my functioning self have laid stress upon stress onto my shoulders. Learning that there was a switch before, an accepted trading of control when life was too pressing upon him I can now understand why he would choose to escape. I think the pressures of this world became too much over the last couple of days. I am still in charge though and this time there was no switching. I felt strange as I dealt with things.

I am not sure, but I think I have come through it for now, but the stresses are still there. "The Boy" has much laid upon him. The test now is if this new woman can withstand the darkness that has stalked him for many years. He lost his fighting spirit. I have to decide if fighting is his best option.

My Thumper deserves better of me. She has been so good to me through the hardships, but now I need to get my act together. I need to figure this out and see if I can become a better girlfriend. She is right that I need to get myself together. I was empty for a bit the past few days. So, it is time to see if the things that go back in can be what will make me a better person and a better human being.

Lady Alexia