What am I? I have been struggling with my inner feelings. I am aroused more by females. I wish I was genetically female and I want to be with a female, but I have developed feelings and desires to be with a man. I have had to think about this. Am I bisexual? I would say yes, but as a female. Unless I am feminine in form and just still have the birth defect between my legs, I have no desire to be with a guy as I am locked in a guy body. I still want to be with a girl. There is one woman I still would like to be my first kiss, but I know it will never happen. She is too far away and she would never like the ugly me I am here. That is a whole different topic.
No, I am clearing this up. When I think about it, I want a cock in my sex, not my anus. I want to be a girl and I then have the desires to be such a perfect little sex toy. I am understanding that I am a bisexual woman. I am just trapped inside a male prison. I could see myself as a sexy
transsexual that has to wait to be whole, but has the curves and soft features. There is something that is so appealing by having a man take me like an animal. I want to be taken. I want to feel his cock rubbing my clit. I want to ride my man and look into his eyes and see love and adoration for his woman. I would like to be owned by a couple I think. Then I could be happy as the sex toy of both. I do know I could fall for a transgendered person that I meet. I long ago said that I would not worry about who I fall in love with, that at my age it is more important to be happy. Of course the woman I fell for is not able to love me like that at this time, if ever.
Oh well, back to Halloween later.
Alexia Rose
6 comments:
Oh, Alexia, I know just how you feel. This prison can seem so confining at the worst times.
Jillisa
Alexia, you are not alone. I have a wonderful girlfriend who knows about my pantyhose obsession and doesn't mind if I wear them. But she doesn't know that when she is working late or on a business trip, I spend most of my time alone dressed en femme.
Whenever I see a woman dressed in beautiful clothes and sexy shoes, stockings or pantyhose or lingerie, I am torn between my admiration for her and my desire to be her and wear her clothes. I am not at all attracted to a man's body, but there are times when I'm enfemme that I'd like to be a confident beautiful woman (not a sissy) and have a man treat me to a romantic evening and some really passionate sex.
My hope is that one day I'll be able to exlain this all to my girlfriend and we'll have some fantastic gender-bending times together with her as my man and me as the woman. Until then, I find comfort in your blog (and the others that I read) that I am not alone.
Ciao, Elise.
It's hard, isn't it?
It really is hard sometimes.
Ohh wow, you like perfectly described some of my sexual desires. I too long to be a woman and have a man take me, fuck me like an animal. To have a cock in me, in my woman-ness would be the ultimate dream come true for me.
I too would consider myself bi as a female. As a guy I just cannot see myself being bi. I am only attracted to women. But myself as a woman, definitely bi. Also I would so be the loving sex toy. Hehe.
Very deep though Alexia, thank you for sharing, it helps to know I am not alone in some of my desires.
Alexia and Isobelle. Do you know that is exactly how I feel. To be taken - nothing smutty - by a strong ma who will show me his love.
I realized a several moths bck I may well be Bi.
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