Let Me Serve You

Today is one of those days I want to be myself, body and soul. This here is how I would love to be. I don't know why I want to just give myself offer to a loving owner and become there latex clad sex doll. It just bubbles underneath my skin. I think I called my friend who lets me play this out Master without the trigger word he uses. Just hearing him call me Pet made my body shudder. I was at peace.


Maybe that is what I crave, a simple peace. Remove everything of self and just live to bring pleasure to one I love. I would serve so well, I know I would. That brings another question that has plagued me. Am I Bi? I know inside I would gladly give head to someone I felt love and safety from. I feel it deep within me. At my core I still love women, but a guy that gains my love and trust would also gain my body and mind to command. Is that being bisexual? Is that narrow accepting inside enough?

I wondered yesterday if I could meditate and cause my body to produce more estrogen than testosterone? If I could figure out how to do that would it cause a shift dramatic enough to warrant a health change of sex? Would that give me a viable medical reason to justify to family and friends I had to change sexes and free me to be the woman I feel I really am? Sometimes I wonder if I am just crazy. Maybe I just want something I can't have.

I am addled loves, better stop writing.

Alexia