Desires for cock and pussy

I visit a site that has many erotic images on it.  Today these two were on there one after the other.  They invoke such desire and arousal in me.  I want to be on my knees between the legs of both gorgeous bodies.  I have realized recently I want to be a woman, but I want to love both genders.  My perfect dream would to be taken in and loved by a Husband and wife.  I would be their plaything and toy, but they would love me and I would feel that love forever.  I once dreamed of being this, and as they had children I would be the nanny for them.  I would have a place in the family and be loved.

So I am weird by society's standards.  I want submissive love.  Can there be romantic submission?  Sometimes I see the stories of humiliation and bondage and I know that is not me.  I am submissive and want to obey, but this aspect it not for me.  Walking into a room and finding Mistress or Master laying like these pictures would cause me to begin licking and sucking until they release there nectar into my mouth and then sigh with relief.  They would stroke my head and tell me "Good Girl" as I shiver.  I wish I could pass as a woman.  I watch YouTube and personal sites of T-Girls and am so envious of the women that are passable.  I want that so much.  I cannot see it in the mirror for me.  I also know it is the end of the things good in my life.  I admire Women who were able to become who there are.  

We are the lost people.  Transgender people are last on the LGBT list.  I think many would drop us from that list if possible.  Even within the ranks of our own we are divided.  I read the different attacks from different segments of Transgendered women.  All the while young people feel lost and suicide is still a strong fact.  Depression is hard to deal with when you can't even admit part of the stress you feel.  I am just filled with conflicting emotions today I guess.  If only my world in my imagination could be real.  Then life would be better for so many people, Trans and otherwise.

Alexia

HOME ALONE

Saw this Caption tonight as I was cleaning some files.  I can't remember who made it for me or if I have placed it on the Blog before.  It was saved when I started with an idea to save the caps made for me and make sure I made a hard copy one day.  I loved the contrast of colors from pic to text background.  The model is gorgeous and I just remember liking it bunches.  So here it is for the first time on the Blog or a second.  Whateves, it rocks!

Alexia

CAGED HEAT

This was made for me by Petra (PlayingPetra) over at Rachel's Haven.

Alexia

My Head is Reeling

I received an email from a new reader.  He was interesting and I decided to see if he was on chat.  I am so mixed up now in some good and nice ways, but a bit scary as well.  I have rarely strayed away from Rachel's Haven.  I have just found safety and people that I can be myself with.  For the first time I really spoke to someone I was unsure of but felt like he was really true to his intentions.  He wants to treat me as I desire.  In fact i was so captivated I was entranced the other night.  I guess I have just always done so much work in being available we I play with others online.

He did the talking and made me feel so wanted.  I really felt the desire being spoken to me.  I liked being seduced and made to feel sexy.  I was playing with my clit before he even said to in his stream of poetic verbage.  I wanted so bad for him to ask me to suck his cock, to take me and fuck me in both holes.  I wanted to be used by this man.  He didn't.  Instead he just wanted me to cum.  Oh and did I cum.  I felt the warmth spread across my chest as I shuddered with orgasm.

I hope that I remain safe.  I just never have met anyone that seemed to like me and be free to express it.  I hope this person is not just another who might use me and lie to me like someone else did.  They shattered a trust by acting as two separate people to get what they wanted by using me as their tool.  He could be doing that, but I so desperately hope not.  It is so hard to be someone who is alone and unloved.

Alexia

Thoughts

Last night one thought ran through my brain, I want to fuck and suck that man that took out Osama.  I just felt so much relief that it was at an end in one way.  Proud that President Obama fulfilled another promise.  I laughed a bit at how Celebrity Apprentice got preempted.  Overall I just wanted to wrap my legs around that soldier who demanded surrender and then took the evil man out.  I would ride him yelling thank you as loud as possible.  He just did hie duty, but I wish I could give him a thank you.

Before that thought, I was stuck on bikini thoughts.  I am a bikini girl.  I love the idea of just a small bit of fabric covering my naughty bits.  I think it would be cool to sit by the pool getting a tan.  I guess Bikini Beach was always one of my favorite fiction stories.  It would be cool to have a true place like that where I could become myself and reality would adjust to make life fit.  

I also have been thinking about my desires to wear clothes for myself.  I am a skirt girl.  I like the idea of dresses, but skirts seem more fun.  I think the free flowing kind would be heavenly swishing around my legs.  I also think it would be awesome to not have any panties underneath.  Ready for access to my Master or Mistress.  Smiling as I know my bare pussy is hidden by a thin bit of fabric.  *giggles*

Happy Day Peeps!
Alexia

Being Sick Sucks, except for the antibiotic induced Dreams

I am sick with the seasonal attack by grass and pollen.  My throat is scratchy and I am coughing.  Sinus infection and the high powered antibiotics have me dragging.  It sucks and I feel bad.  It is just balanced by one thing.  I have the most doped up sexy dreams.  I feel my sexy self in my dreams.  I also feel what it must be to feel drunk, since I don't drink, I don't know.  I do know I get made love to by girls and boys I know online.  I cuddle with the one who I can't be with.  Sometimes my Sweet Boy make love to me.  I had one yesterday of my Master taking me from behind as I exercised.  So at least I can feel sexy while I have this stuffed up nose and constantly cough my guts out.

Hope you all are better than me right now.  Plus, good thoughts need to be sent to my Jillisa, she is dealing with some junk that is bad and I want us to send good energy her way.  I love you Jillisa.  If I had the power to heal people I would take care of you and so many others that are suffering from things.  Hang in there sexy.

Alexia

Saint and Sinner

I wonder sometimes about who I really am inside.  Not just the fact that I am a female internally, but more of the way I desire to be a bad girl.  I have the dreams of being the proper lady and accord myself the way a nice girl should.  Yet, I also want to be dominated and used for sex.  Sometimes it is to be the kinky partner of my girlfriend or other times to submit to my handsome Master who has a big black cock that fills any hole he wants.  I wonder about this explosive desire.  Is it a reaction to my lack of any sexual contact in reality?  Does my sluttiness have a cause?

I told you about being with my Sweet Boy online the other night.  He treated me in such a commanding way.  I was totally his whore.  I wanted his roughness and his love that also showed through. I know that if I were able to be a girl and have the body for it I would want to strip.  The idea of turning men on by stripping gets me so hot.  I would love to be able to do that.  Inside I revel in the dirty thoughts I have.  Does that make me wrong?  I know many of the other girls like me dream of dresses and stuff.  I would rather find a hot latex slave outfit and be on a leash and collar.  So sometimes I feel a conflict.

Alexia