I am here.

I am unsure how I am doing.  I did want to post.  It has been so long and I figure that maybe some people might be worried.  I do want to say that the comments do help.  Sometimes just reading the kind words helps push the darkness back a bit at times.  What I have been doing is reading Paranormal Romance.  I found an Anthology at Goodwill.  So I have been lost in fantasy at times.  I lay in the bed and sorta sleep.  I put the mask of normalcy on and do some work.  I imagine being my true self.  I feel so worthless sometimes it hurts.

As I said I am not sure how I feel or how I am doing.  I am just here at times.  Eating is a problem.  Sometimes I skip a meal and sometimes I just go into depression eating.  Living at home is bad because the parental unit always seems to have something that ends up being eaten by me.  It is easier living alone and not having anything that can be eaten quickly.

A friend from the Haven has taken to being something I desperately crave, my owner.  At times I am just a pet and at times they make me feel loved.  It is hard to explain how much it helps when I am able to let go and just be submissive.  I just wanted to check in.

Alexia Rose