BIRTHDAY BOOMERANG CAPS FOR THOSE WHO GAVE JILLISA A CAP

I told the Haven crowd that I would Boomerang a Caption to anyone who did a Birthday caption for my lovely Jillisa. Here is the results of those captions returned.

Alexia

Entranced

Last night I was contacted by someone at a site I joined but felt was not really offering me anything. They were a certified hypnotist and had read my desires to be tranced. It was nice to talk with her and I was very open. She was curious as to what Ashna had done and made me feel good about my losing Ashna. Not good that she is not in my life, but that I should not carry feelings of hurt I have. It was so nice that she slowly put me under.

I was so relaxed and yet focused. She was able to make me feel nice. I even came by the end. Twice in fact. I felt so good and I really liked it. I hope she is as nice as she seems. I want to be a good girl and become more female in my thoughts. She said we could work on my wish to dream my day over as a female instead of the fake boy I am. I am so attracted to being controlled this way. I hope she is as nice as she was last night.

Alexia

If I were a real girl.........

......La La La La La La, La La La La La La La Laaaaaaaaa! As my day wrapped up yesterday I sent a request out to the most awesome Jennifer to help a young woman at the Haven. She sent me a great online shoppe to look over. *SIGH* I so want that collar in pink. Truth to tell darlings, I have caught myself just standing at the local big box store staring at the cute pink doggie collars. I would be such a good girl if I just was given the chance. I wonder sometimes why and where this comes from.


Growing up I have been instilled with the never give up attitude. I love stories where the heroine or stud overcomes the feelings of despair to save the day. Yet, I would trade it all to be a pretty pet for a loving Mistress and Master. I have a strong desire to give myself to simple thoughts and devoting all my life to pleasuring the people who love me. It is a trend among many of the girls at the Haven. Those of us that dream of the transformation also tend to carry heavy submissive desires it seems. Mine are very heavy. So strong I would want a second level to my transformation. I want to be the girl, but I would also want to shift from girl to a real doggie as well. For as Long as I have wanted to be a female in fantasy, I also have wanted to be a dog. Some of my friends online know this desire. It is something that some I have always feared would not understand, but so far they seem to get a bit of the feeling in sympathetic terms.


Along with collars, I am finding corsets have become something I am fascinated by more and more. I like how they would shape me into a more curvy female. Isn't this pink one just so cute. I am just so enamored by them. I can also imagine a strong pair of hands pulling that zipper and freeing my breast for playtime. Hands kneading my girls as my nipples become so hard they hurt. I just sent a great deal of time looking at them last night. I saved the pics to share with all of you. I know I would look terrible in my defective form. It would not be pretty.

I wonder if you can live as a virtual person in our emerging reality. Could one day the Internet become where I can truly experience the desire to be devoted to my lovers? So far I will continue as a mental being wishing for the day I might can be happy.

Thank you for indulging me.

Alexia

Getting Older

As I have gotten older I have to realize I cannot eat certain things anymore. I have suffered a tummy ache of a major type the past three days because of this fact. I crave the good tasting food, but my tummy just will not digest it. I need to begin working harder to take care of this pitiful body I am trapped in. If I do, then maybe if I do get my wish and transform into a gorgeous red head like the pretty Justine I use for my avatar I can be a healthy girl.

Alexia

Smooth Desires

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Thoughts

Recently I have been trying to reconcile my mind. I have a strong desire to be a "real girl" in body and spirit. When I take the online questionnaire about gender I score as neither male or female. I wonder if it is my having to still live as a "boy" that causes this to be. It is at play in my mind. I know I am more flirty and slutty than most girls. I have to be so repressed in boy mode that I think sometimes I overcompensate. What is making me pause is my spirituality. I can fully embrace my beliefs as myself, but in public the boy stays quiet and has me raging inside when issues about same-sex marriage and other topics are discussed. I feel like I am betraying something inside. I wish life were simpler. I wish sometimes we didn't have such complicated views about body and soul.

What would it look like if we all were unashamed by the human form. Imagine a world where all shapes were embraced. I wish sometimes for a world where we did not need clothing. A world where we were healthy and the appreciation of all shapes and sizes could be free to have the air caress their skin. Would young people be less likely to cut themselves? Would anorexia and bulimia be eradicated? It is something I wonder about.

I also wonder what life would be like if we could love freely. If we saw each other and embraced and showed affection without regard for some silly rule or false modesty. Sex has such a negative aspect in some ways. Yet, we are driven to have sex. Men are wired to spread genetic material and women feel the drive to have children. Sex feels good, solitary or with others. Why do we deny this natural act?

Yeah, I can be weird.

Alexia

MY BIRTHDAY CAPTION FOR JILLISA

Here is the caption posted for Jillisa over at Rachel's Haven. I had these images for a good while and the Birthday just seemed appropriate.

Alexia