Lady Alexia

Monday, October 8, 2018

Sexuality

I have been wrapping my mind around this subject lately. I am realizing that I am Bisexual in terms of attraction. I have heard that taking T-blockers and in the future estrogen I might shift in that thinking. What really makes one dizzy is the fact that by DNA if I ever do find someone and they are cismale I would be gay, right? Or would it be straight since in all other ways I am female? If I am with a ciswoman are we lesbians? Then if it is another Transwoman...oh my head hurts.

Of course all this is moot. I have nobody on any horizon. I cannot even see the possibility. So I guess it is all just labels and head spinning.

Alexia

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Dysphoria

I have been feeling a roller coaster of gender dysphoria. I haven't spoken much about this on here because you received my result of these feelings for so long. I realize when I get this way is when I read more porn stories and try to be the woman in the story getting fucked silly. I get very messy as I read and rub. I have become more in tune with my feelings as I am walking forward in wanting to do what can make me more like I should be.

Gender Dysphoria can be very debilitating. For me it can lead to depression. One of the worst parts of my depression is how ill I get with people. Then I get depressed that I was grouchy. I can spiral pretty fast. I have been feeling more female, if that can make sense. But, I am still carrying the things between my legs. I still have to dress as a man. I still have to shave the growth of hair on my face. I want to just cry.

While on social media I have received hope, but also a feeling of despair. I cannot comment as my true self. I cannot tell other Trans Women things in a conversation that I totally relate to in so many ways. So I just go up feeling good about being a woman who is in the wrong body for now, to being ashamed of the ugly shell I am trapped in. Feelings of being alone persist.

I just feel so trapped.

Alexia

Monday, September 10, 2018

Checking In, Changes

Soooooo, I am not sure how much I will be posting. I am settling I guess you can say. I have accepted fully my true self. I mentioned sharing with some IRL that I am a Transgender Woman. I have a super doctor. He is understanding and supportive. I have weighed his cautions about privacy and my own desires to come to a decision. I want to take T-Blockers. My mental health is at risk. I have noticed when I can rid my body of hair I feel happy. When I wear a pair of panties or leggings that fit I feel happy. I want to feel more happy in my life. I hope that blocking testosterone will make some changes to my body. Lessening of hair would be a nice change.

A lower libido is something that happens, but I only have sex online so I figure it might be healthy to lower that bit. Lower blood pressure, well maybe I drop a medicine I take now. My face could soften so I would love that part. I might grow breast that are shapely. Not the fatty tissue I have now.

I think that my growth has matured me past my super sex starved gal I was at first. I feel a settling of my mind. I still have sexy slutty desires. I just now can see myself as a woman in the real world.

I hope to continue to have good updates. I am keeping all the old posts. They are part of my crazy journey. Plus some are pretty sexy.

Love you all.

Alexia Rose.

Monday, July 9, 2018

Been some Good & some Dysphoria

Just checking in. Been taking baby steps to have my life be more honest. Told Doctor, told best friend, contacted TG Support Center near me. I am gathering the courage to contact the host of the Support Group.

Really want to have a girl body. Bought some new panties. Bought some active wear. Bought a cute workout top that I sleep in.

Horny as hell. Wish I had a dildo. Want to become a excellent cock sucker.

So some old & some new.

I am trying to caption some more.

Love you Sweeties!

Alexia Rose.