Dysphoria

I have been feeling a roller coaster of gender dysphoria. I haven't spoken much about this on here because you received my result of these feelings for so long. I realize when I get this way is when I read more porn stories and try to be the woman in the story getting fucked silly. I get very messy as I read and rub. I have become more in tune with my feelings as I am walking forward in wanting to do what can make me more like I should be. 

Gender Dysphoria can be very debilitating. For me it can lead to depression. One of the worst parts of my depression is how ill I get with people. Then I get depressed that I was grouchy. I can spiral pretty fast. I have been feeling more female, if that can make sense. But, I am still carrying the things between my legs. I still have to dress as a man. I still have to shave the growth of hair on my face. I want to just cry. 

While on social media I have received hope, but also a feeling of despair. I cannot comment as my true self. I cannot tell other Trans Women things in a conversation that I totally relate to in so many ways. So I just go up feeling good about being a woman who is in the wrong body for now, to being ashamed of the ugly shell I am trapped in. Feelings of being alone persist. 

I just feel so trapped.

Alexia