Hello Sweeties.

I have been in a weird place mentally.  The boy has been busy and I have just kinda stayed back and really just been an online hermit gal.  I would get on YIM and just feel left behind or alone.  I didn't want to burden the people that care about me and I had no one to just have sex with over chat.  I saw a mention of something I had been a part of some time ago at the Haven and felt a bunch of sadness because I have been left out of being included for a few seasons now.  Just being reminded of that hurt a bit more than I realized.

I carry a great deal of guilt over My Star.  I don't chat much with her.....just enough to see how she is doing.  It hurts, even as I write this it hurts thinking about her and the fact that I can never even have a chance.  I hate having this dam ugly male container.  I know it is selfish to still love her after everything, but my heart hurts just knowing I will never be what she can love back.

In about a month's time I will be a 40 year old virgin.  The silly thing is that I doubt I could have sex as a guy, I don't know.....I mean I have such small equipment and I have accepted so fully my self that I cannot see it.  I desire to lose my virginity as a girl would.  So I am screwed up huhn?  I can't even get laid on YIM.  I am so horny all the time and just would love to be used and to have sex like the slutty gal I am, but I guess being careful limits that score.  I seduced my sweet boy a few weeks back.  I really just pulled out all the stops and it was so wonderful.  I miss My Star though.  I have never been as in sync over chat with anyone else.  She was like a conductor playing us a symphony as be made love.

Sorry about being so whiny.  I just feel bad.  I can't find any energy and when I do have it, the needs of the boy's life must come first.

Alexia

Where I've Been

Reading THE CLAIMING OF SLEEPING BEAUTY, Jilly I am sending to you when done.

Work.

Kidney Stones this week.

Death in the Family.

Just wanted to let you all know I am OK and just dealing with life right now.

I am also working to have a Yard Sale.

Alexia

I Wonder....?

 I wonder what it would feel like to put my lips over a cock and let my tongue explore?  I wonder if he would like how I suck his cock?

 I wonder what it would feel like to make love to a strong black man?

 I wonder if his cock would even fit into my mouth?

 I wonder how it would feel as he split my pussy wide with each thrust of his cock?

I wonder if I will ever find someone to fill my needs like this?  Will I ever be the woman bent over and receiving her Master's love like this?

Alexia

Naked Thoughts

I made it back from my trip.  I have been really aroused since being back.  It is different from horny I think.  My Sweet Boy took really good care of me last night.  I basically seduced him.  *SIGH* He treats me so well.  I miss my Jillisa.  She has been down with her Internet.  That is where she is gals of the Haven.  My Star is in my thoughts as well.  She really needs to pop up on YIM soon.

I have been thinking about the Olympics.  They should be Naked.  I mean that is how they started.  All those clothes are icky when one thinks about it.  Women's Beach Volleyball would be so awesome.  Today that gorgeous Spaniard would have been so sexy scoring and stretching with nothing on but her tight and toned muscles.  Men's Gymnastics would be a hoot.  Cocks swinging everywhere.  It is fun to imagine what the games you are watching would be like in the nude.  Fencing might be a bit dangerous though.

Kisses
Alexia

Be Gone This Week

I will be gone this week.  It is work, but it is at the Beach.  So I will try and not get burned.

Update

Hi my peeps!  *giggles*  I would not have found that funny earlier today.  I think I became dehydrated last night from a side effect of my meds.  I was not much for anything or anyone today.  I did want to catch up and let you followers know I was OK.  Just been in a busy time and until my insulin situation is cleared up I am just on a roller coaster of feelings.

I have had a wonderful couple of encounters here in my online life.  Each has been wrapped around my hypno fetish.  I am on a bit of a high.  I am dreaming more about being submissive to a strong woman and also a strong man.  I know my perfect life would be to be a Pet from two loving owners and live with them forever.  I know of a couple that would be a fantasy come true if I could be magical.

I have done caps for the Haven Quarterly eZine.  One day I can share them, but for now you can buy them at Rachel's Haven.  I encourage this as it helps keep the site running and it is probably the largest one stop for captions, stories, and role play of a TG nature.  I will leave a link below.

Bye Sweeties
Alexia Rose

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Sorry Sweeties

I have not been feeling well.  I am unable to afford one medicine and have been off it for a bit.  Sometimes I run out of energy.  I have had some weird dreams and am still a horny thing at odd times, but I just haven't had anything really to share.  The captions I have made have been for the Haven Ezine and those have to stay unpublished for reasons dealing with the nature of the agreement to help the Haven raise operating funds.  I have been super busy with work and trying to garden some.  I hope to be a bit more active soon.  I miss talking and playing in chat with some of you.

Oh, I was on the Yahoo email the other day and noticed that some of you had written.  Sweeties I apologize for not replying.  I only use yahoo for chat and never really check the email.  Use alexia(dot)alexander1@gmail(dot)com to send me a message.

Kisses,
Alexia