Wow, it has been a while

Life has been extra hectic the last month or so.  My real life job has been draining me emotionally as I have dealt with so people with major issues.  The chaos they have brought into that environment has been staggering.  I also just have lost all desire to be at times.  I feel lost in the one place I can be the true me.  

Reading stories has become the main outlet for me.  Even more than porn vids.  I dream of being something else besides the pathetic boi I am.  My health is not good I think.  It has also been a real struggle with my triggers that push my depression along.  I am a mess and i guess I can see why I am not able to have a relationship either in real life or on-line.  

I dream many dreams now where I am entranced and made a servant to my Master and his whims.  He is always a very well built Black Man with strange magical powers.  I am often licking another of his thralls while he fucks my pussy raw.  Then I wake up and feel empty.  

I am working right now to self-trance myself before bed in the hopes of dreaming of being a real girl and being loved.  I just thought I would check in and let those who cared know I am alive and still screwed up.

Alexia