I think it is true about those of us who are single having shorter lifespans. I feel less inclined to take care of my self. Why should I? There is no one that I come home to and feel safe with as their arms surround me. It is a feeling of despair that hovers around you all the time.
For a long time here on-line I tried to be a presence who cared for those that feel like me. I tried to be a person that gave affection. It just feels that I gave and somewhere along the way I gave out. I have nothing left. I am just a lonely, whiny, selfish girl.
Alexia
2 comments:
We have an endless supply of giving. But so many just want to take and take without giving back. For a long time I was always giving, doing and being what others wanted. And I woke one day feeling that I have nothing more to give, that everyone took and never gave back to me. I did resort to pills and was saved by my sister that dropped by to see me. After much time and still undergoing conseling, I learned not to always give. I am not a slave that will do anything for approval.
Yes, I still get on my knees for my man, for I love looking up at him, and for him I am HIS slave. But he also gives to me and supports me.
It is a waiting game unfortunately, the wait for the one that will give as much as you give them.
*hugs* I know the feeling being able to jump in cyberspace is a common fantasy for me to. and being able to leave my shell behind for a body that better matches me is one of the reasons I think I get really into ghost in the shell.
as for the giving, if you need to dial it back and take care of yourself try not to feel bad over it. it's something everyone has to do and the concepts of self care have been a major part in helping me. your friends will still be waiting when your ready to be more active.
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