I Wonder About This Sometimes.........

As I near another B-Day I still wonder if I will ever be in a flesh and blood relationship?  Today my confusion crossed my mind again.  I was working in this temp job that calls me in when needed.  You have to get there a bit early so there is time to talk with the people you work with before the job begins.  Today I was chatting and stuff with the new person that started a few months ago.  She was telling me about her weekend and pulling up something on her new phone.  As she stood by me while I was sitting, I suddenly felt the closeness of the space and my mind wandered.  There is not anything really there, this just sort of popped in my head.  I wondered if there was a possibility?  I wondered if she could ever see anything in me?  I am older than her.  She is probably seeing someone i am sure.  She is cute and has geek tendencies.  But as I had these fast thoughts the other question presented itself.  Can I ever be true to someone and not deny my feelings of who I really am inside?  Thoughts of never finding someone was tough enough without this layer added.  I really do not have to worry I guess.  You have to find someone first right?  I am so socially inept that I will never be anything but single.  So I near the next year and I know I will be alone for the rest of my days.  *sigh*

She is a nice gal though.  

Alexia