bad and have admitted I was in trouble. I sought help from my family doctor and now am trying to deal with the feelings of sadness and worthlessness I have inside me. I really haven't felt like doing much of anything and my mind feels a bit slow at times. I have written a bit for a story I am placing in the new library at Rachel's Haven. There has been a great deal happening to me over really the last few years. I used to get down and I would work to get myself over it. Somehow I just got to a point where I couldn't fight back the darkness anymore. I was numb to anything but all the failures in my life. I really owe my life to my former girlfriend. Yeah, I no longer can consider Thumper my girlfriend in a romantic sense. She still wants to be my friend and I have to heal enough where I can do that because I want her to still be my friend. Others stood by me and held my hand in a virtual sense.
Maybe this is just another part of being me and taking control of this life as a Trans Gender inside. I know that going through the process to truly match my feelings is not possible, at least now. I am becoming more comfortable with being the female on the inside I want to be. Hopefully I will soon find some peace.
Alexia
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