Accepting Singleness

Being who I am I had problems lurking inside. I may try and speak on the issues sometime when I am farther away from it in the healing process. The worst outcome is that I have lost Thumper as my girlfriend. We are still friends and I will always love her, but we are no longer connected I we once were. She truly was the first person I have ever loved. I can also say I do not know if I would be writing or even breathing if she had not come into my life. I am glad I am too big a coward to ever give in to darker thoughts I have. The thing that would have gotten me would have been the stress mentally and the resulting bodily damage. She kept me focused and brought me to calmer places so many times early on and I know she saved me from the darkness.


Now I am back to a lonely path in terms of love. I miss Thumper's little messages of love during the day. I think it underscored the fact that I lack affection and loving touch in my life trapped in The Boy's shell. Finding a woman that will be able to share this burden is not possible probably. I really am a lonely soul and that hurts so much. I will try and heal and become the person I am to be and lean on friends that have been better to me than I deserve. Life is just darker without Thumper in it.


Lady Alexia Rose