Cap Story Made For My Irish Boy

 

 

Alectra

Sometimes you wonder what impact you make on the world.  I am stuck inside a cyber existence and it crosses my mind.  Every now and then I get some confirmation that lets me realize I am real, I do matter, and I have friends.  Alectra found Rachel's Haven through this Blog.  She is a wonderful girl with a naughty mind.  I have watch as she struggled with English when she began Captioning, to a much improved wordsmith that can capture the soul of her subjects.

She had her 100th Post recently and did a series of Cations for many of Us.  I felt so honored to be the first girl she gifted.  I know I am not able to show the love and time I wish to so many girls I have met the last few years, but I do keep and eye out and try to be there when I can and when I feel I can be helpful.

Visit her Blog and enjoy the gifts she has given to many of the people you probably follow.

Alectra's 100th Post

Alexia

Hypno Heaven

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One Of Those Days

Today is one of the days I wish I could slip on a skirt and nice top and just be free to be girly.  I would apply pretty pink lipstick and just the right amount of make up.  I would be a head turner.

I would love to feel the air between my legs as my skirt swishes around.  Just the freedom to know I was casting the real me into the world.  No worries about weight or sugar.  I could just laugh and have fun for the day.  Maybe find a cute boy or girl to hold hands with as I go forward into the night.

Why is it that some of us were born this way?  I know I fit the criteria for those that got screwed up hormones in the womb.  My tiny phallus is proof of that.  I have a smaller one than many of the porn M2F online.  I did not develop the right way.  My mind is female in so many ways.  

I lie in bed and caress my hips imagining that they are curvier and that I look like I feel.  I am working in my head a post about us Non-Ops.  We are those that are in dire danger of suicide I think.

Alexia Rose

Up and Down

Oh Sweeties,
The little comments and the emails and YIM messages have meant so much.  My sugar is still running high.  I am still increasing the dosage to go towards the number my doc wants.  I have tried to eliminate bread for the week, just a bit of wheat bread today.

I am wrapping deli meat around string cheese as a meal.  I am on an all meat diet really.  That is difficult.  I love pasta and stuff like it.  I feel like the pic, stuck in a corner.  *sighs*  My horniness is low.  I lay and cuddled in chat with two dear friends last night.  I wish I could have played with them, but I am just too tired.  Funny, too tired to type sex out.  That is pitiful isn't it.

Thank You All for the Love,
Alexia Rose

Thank You

I want to say thank you to those that sent me notes and comments to cheer me up.  It means alot.  I am having issues as I am off the medicine that was suppose to help my insulin go further.  I think that has spiked my sugar number up.  I am under orders to slowly increase the dosage each day until I get a number the Doctor wants.  Slow going so far.  I hate jabbing my belly everyday.  I watched Mom do this with a needle, so I guess I can deal with the injector pen.  Still stings sometimes.

Oh, remember My parental Unit.  We lost a dear old dog yesterday.  She got out and headed straight for the road during a heavy storm.  She was old, but one of those with personality that gets in your heart.  He will miss her bunches.  She was his girl, no mistake about it.

Alexia

Feeling down

Something I have known and dreaded for many years has become my reality.  Genetically I have known I would face this day and it has arrived.  I am diabetic and the last confirmation of that has come to be.

I took the first shot of insulin today.  It has me depressed.  It has me feeling so down I just want to sleep or eat myself to death.  I have so much I need to do this week and I just feel terrible.

I am battling through this, but is is very hard.  I feel so guilty for feeling like this is so bad, so many others are dealing with so much else that is far worse than my having to take insulin.  So I feel just that much more horrible.

I am sorry to those I should have talked to today.  Just didn't feel like it.  Add I had someone ask about why I haven't gotten married and had kids yet.  Harmless in so many ways, but to me it reaffirms that I am alone and will die that way.  I just have to keep pushing ahead.  I have to fight through this.

Alexia